we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize