Sorry, I don't speak sober.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just gargled with NyQuil
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
