The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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