I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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