in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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