He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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