listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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