Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
