that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
