so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
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