i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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