people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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