I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
