New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Couch. On fire.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
