new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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