I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
