So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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