i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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