guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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