haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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