just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
