And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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