Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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