Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
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