Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
