you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
