dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
