Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
