at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
