Your face is a jimmy john
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
