We named our party play list daddy issues
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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