But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
