I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
