He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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