Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
