I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
