I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
This baby is an asshole
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Who died my cat blue again?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
