Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
