the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
