I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
