I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
