how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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