I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Randomize
