i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
