Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
