Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
