You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The cops high fived after they tackled you
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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