Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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