So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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