So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
