remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Randomize
