My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
