Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
