I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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